


ataraxia

by orphan_account



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, M/M, also i have no idea what to do with the WoL, everyone loves fray, i dont know what im writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-25 23:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13845531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He deserves better, the Warrior of Light knows this. And perhaps if they were 'better', they would deserve him too.





	ataraxia

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote the WoL with... a male Xaela in mind because I'm just that self indulgent. However, a free company friend told me that my WoL shapeshifts due to all the Fantasias I consume so... let's just say the WoL is Au Ra and call it a day ;'))))) This is also the first time I've posted any writing I've ever done so this is a terrifying experience

The Warrior of Light will not deny the fact that they did indeed waltz into Sidurgu’s life uninvited. They will also not deny the fact that they had finally found their own cause they believed was worth fighting for. They will trace his fingers nonchalantly across Sidurgu’s scales as he scowls, but relaxes into their touch albeit reluctantly at first. But now he lets a tired sigh roll past his lips, the feeling of their cold fingertips ghost over his scales having grown on him. But that does not mean he doesn't snap at them from time to time - asking why they couldn't trace their own scales. And he would be at a loss for words when they pout and tell him that ‘it just wouldn't be the same.’

 

“What's on your mind?”

 

Their voice pierces through the silence, and Sidurgu chuckles. He takes their hand in his, playing with their fingers. There's a hint of a playful smile that tugs at his lips,

 

“It's nothing,”

 

He turns and expects to see Fray; Fray with his pale amber eyes and his rare, but beautiful smile.

 

_ Fray? _

 

The ghost of a name almost slips from his lips, but he catches it.

 

_ No, not Fray. Never Fray. _

 

He watches as the Warrior of Light tilts their head with a rather puzzled expression, wondering what had caused Sidurgu to freeze so abruptly. He pushes himself off the bed and walks towards the window, welcoming the soft breeze that greets him. The Warrior of Light follows, placing a hand on Sidurgu’s lower back for comfort. They can feel Sidurgu grow tense when they touch him, and they wonder if it's a habit Sidurgu could ever learn to grow out of. But they digress, having Sidurgu allow them to touch him so casually was already an improvement from when they first met.

 

The Warrior of Light does not pry into Sidurgu’s thoughts. They have no right to do so when Sidurgu leaves them be. Even though a sense of curiosity as a natural adventurer gradually eats away at them, they suppress that need and let their hand slip away from Sidurgu’s back. He shuts the window after a moment of hesitation; his reason for hesitating is unknown even to himself. He falls back into bed and the Warrior of Light climbs in with him without saying a word. He feels odd, there's a strange feeling that stirs in his chest, one that he can't quite put a name to. On nights like these, he wonders what weighs more: his sword or his burdens.

 

And yet, with the Warrior of Light by his side, he feels at ease. Less troubled than he would be if he were on his own, without Fray. And while Rielle is good company, he does not know how he would manage if he did not have another  _ adult _ to talk to. Children are strange, they know things they should not, and turn a blind eye to things that seemed so obvious. He recalls the words that the Warrior of Light had told him: that he was only so afraid because he thinks too much. Perhaps there was some truth in their words. They blow out the candle that rested on the table beside the bed,  _ their _ bed. He’s still not quite used to it, although he does recall memories of sharing a bed with Fray when they were younger. But this was different, he feels a warm breath tickle his neck and he shudders in response.  _ This is not detestable, _ he muses.

 

And as Sidurgu falls asleep, silence overtakes the room. It’s a moment of quiet that everyone desired, a moment where everything is okay. Hopefully, everything would be okay, even with the constant storm of misfortune that seemed to follow the Warrior of Light wherever they went. They wonder if it’s because every hero needs a villain, or because they were just cursed to bring disaster. Perhaps it was them who thinks too much, and they try their best to push those thoughts to the back of their mind.

 

But with those thoughts gone, thoughts of Fray resurface.

 

_ Listen to my voice. _

 

_ — To our heartbeat. _

 

_ Listen, listen… _

 

The voice that the Warrior of Light hears every night when the stars in the sky keeps company is one that they will never be able to drown out. Though it's not like they wanted to in the first place. Fray is gone, they know this. They turn to stare at Sidurgu’s sleeping figure - the same face, but so different at the same time. Lips parted slightly, shallow breaths. He was at peace, at least for now. And it was for him that they would hold onto whatever little they had left of Fray.

**Author's Note:**

> There are probably gonna be more chapters because there's a lot of ideas in my mind... I just don't know how I want it to play out. And everything might be really inconsistent, I feel like I refer to the WoL as.. the WoL too many times but I don't want to like, put a name to them since I want it to be more general. Also if anyone bothers to read this, criticism is so welcome asdfgjghg if I wrote like half of this while half asleep on my phone so.. lots of mistakes


End file.
